Monday, 28 June 2010
I feel poop!
I feel really crappy, my stomach so sore it keeps going into spasms, Im scare to eat as well because everything I have tried to eat so far has made me sick! and I hate being sick! Hope I feel better soon.
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Dont think I could feel more shit!
Today I am really down, I dont know why but I just want to sit in a room on my own & cry. I dont have PMT infact my period just away so I cant really my hormomes on this one!
Im not exactly talking to either of my parents, I cant be assed with them bitching to me anymore, if thats the way they are going to be then Id rather they werent in my life, I can do without it. My arguments with them started as I never went to see my dad on Fathers day, well sorry if my 6 month old baby wanted home & my 7 year old wanted to spend time with her dad on fathers day, I mean it was Chris's 1st official fathers day now Violet here, I have a life, he has a cheek anyway when was the last time he visited me! He has been in my house 3 times in 4 years, once to help me move in & the last was March last year after I had my surgery! My dad bitched & said he was hurt I never visited & my mum went on at me as well as I never went down as my sister managed to call him, well bring on the brass band, my junkie sister managed to call my dad on fathers day! When was the last time he heard from her? 2 months before that! Think they forget who out the 2 of us actually gives a shit! I dont really want to be around any of them just now, my phone is unplugged & my mobile is being ingnored the hassel & stress from them I can do without!
God I feel like a fat whale as well, no matter what I do or eat still making no difference to what I weight! been walking miles upon miles watching everything I eat yet still no sign of anything coming off! Doesnt make me feel better when Chris says I look nice or anything in fact it makes me feel worse as I can see in the mirror & the ugly sight looking back at me! I just want to cut my stomach of, I could literally take a knife & stab it over & over & over again! It wouldnt be hard.
Im not exactly talking to either of my parents, I cant be assed with them bitching to me anymore, if thats the way they are going to be then Id rather they werent in my life, I can do without it. My arguments with them started as I never went to see my dad on Fathers day, well sorry if my 6 month old baby wanted home & my 7 year old wanted to spend time with her dad on fathers day, I mean it was Chris's 1st official fathers day now Violet here, I have a life, he has a cheek anyway when was the last time he visited me! He has been in my house 3 times in 4 years, once to help me move in & the last was March last year after I had my surgery! My dad bitched & said he was hurt I never visited & my mum went on at me as well as I never went down as my sister managed to call him, well bring on the brass band, my junkie sister managed to call my dad on fathers day! When was the last time he heard from her? 2 months before that! Think they forget who out the 2 of us actually gives a shit! I dont really want to be around any of them just now, my phone is unplugged & my mobile is being ingnored the hassel & stress from them I can do without!
God I feel like a fat whale as well, no matter what I do or eat still making no difference to what I weight! been walking miles upon miles watching everything I eat yet still no sign of anything coming off! Doesnt make me feel better when Chris says I look nice or anything in fact it makes me feel worse as I can see in the mirror & the ugly sight looking back at me! I just want to cut my stomach of, I could literally take a knife & stab it over & over & over again! It wouldnt be hard.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
Hormones!
Mine are all over the place! One minute I'm as happy as larry the next I'm in tears or biting someones head off over the smallest (& usually stupidist) little thing!
Today is Father's Day, its Chris' first official fathers day (he has had cards & presents from Brogan the past 2 years) so he got a card from each of the girls, socks, a toblerone & a PS3 game. He also got his head bitten of as the BBQ wouldnt light & because I was stuck in the house AGAIN! God I feel like my life is stuck in a rut!
I have uni tomorrow, Wednesday & Thursday, I'm looking forward to it but at the sametime I'm dreading going in & people asking me questions incase I start to cry or something! God it sounds rediculous, I will probably be the only student in as well! I blame the hormones!!!! They have a lot to answer for LOL.
Today is Father's Day, its Chris' first official fathers day (he has had cards & presents from Brogan the past 2 years) so he got a card from each of the girls, socks, a toblerone & a PS3 game. He also got his head bitten of as the BBQ wouldnt light & because I was stuck in the house AGAIN! God I feel like my life is stuck in a rut!
I have uni tomorrow, Wednesday & Thursday, I'm looking forward to it but at the sametime I'm dreading going in & people asking me questions incase I start to cry or something! God it sounds rediculous, I will probably be the only student in as well! I blame the hormones!!!! They have a lot to answer for LOL.
Sunday, 13 June 2010
A quite little week
Its been a quite week in my wierd world. Think its because things are winding down for the end of the school year so classes & such are starting to stop as well.
Brogan had her Grade 1 Modern exam today, she thinks it went well but we wont find out until August now as her classes break for the summer from tomorrow, on Tuesday she is off the Stirling Castle with the school as well, they are missing me as a helper this year but I haven't anyone to watch Violet so cant help out this year, will miss it really do enjoy it, going away with all the kids.
Violet has been coming on fantastic this week, she is a right little character & has the appetite of a grown man, that girl will eat anything, this week she had chilli, lasagne & curry as well for the first time & loved them all. She has a new thing just now as well that she wants to rock back & forth all day everyday & the past 2-3 days has been moving her tongue all around her mouth making noises while doing it as well, I swear she looks like an escaped mental patient when doing it, makes me smile.
Brogan told me this week that she was proud of me for doing the race for life and that she thinks im a great mum as well, made me have such a MASSIVE smile on my face.
Here is my link to see how much I raised for my Race for Life (you are also welcome to leave a sponsor if you wish)
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/cookieboo28
Still organinsing Violet's Christening, nearly everything done just panicing now as the company doing the catering has went bust & now have only 2 weeks to find a replacement or I will have to do it myself, I have tried a few companies but so far no luck! Really dont want to have to do it got so much other stuff I need to organise, mainly me, Chris, Brogan & Violet and that is a task in itself!
Brogan had her Grade 1 Modern exam today, she thinks it went well but we wont find out until August now as her classes break for the summer from tomorrow, on Tuesday she is off the Stirling Castle with the school as well, they are missing me as a helper this year but I haven't anyone to watch Violet so cant help out this year, will miss it really do enjoy it, going away with all the kids.
Violet has been coming on fantastic this week, she is a right little character & has the appetite of a grown man, that girl will eat anything, this week she had chilli, lasagne & curry as well for the first time & loved them all. She has a new thing just now as well that she wants to rock back & forth all day everyday & the past 2-3 days has been moving her tongue all around her mouth making noises while doing it as well, I swear she looks like an escaped mental patient when doing it, makes me smile.
Brogan told me this week that she was proud of me for doing the race for life and that she thinks im a great mum as well, made me have such a MASSIVE smile on my face.
Here is my link to see how much I raised for my Race for Life (you are also welcome to leave a sponsor if you wish)
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/cookieboo28
Still organinsing Violet's Christening, nearly everything done just panicing now as the company doing the catering has went bust & now have only 2 weeks to find a replacement or I will have to do it myself, I have tried a few companies but so far no luck! Really dont want to have to do it got so much other stuff I need to organise, mainly me, Chris, Brogan & Violet and that is a task in itself!
Sunday, 6 June 2010
Race for life
Today I took part in Cancer Research UK's 5km Race for Life at Glasgow Green. The day was emotional, fun and very rewarding, the weather was just perfect, the sun was behind the clouds but the rain stayed away & it was warm but not too warm, it was just perfect.
I walked the course with 5 other members of my family and between the 6 of us we raised over £1000. I am really proud of us all.
I raced in memory of my Grandad who passed away from Lung Cancer on the 9th March 2010, I believe he watched over me while going round the course, I hope I made him proud.
On the way around I was in tears many times from reading what other runners had written on thier back signs, from the little girl about 7 who was racing in memory of her daddy, the 2 runners who were racing for a gorgeous little boy about 18months that passed away from cancer, the brave woman who got out of her wheelchair to walk over the finish line and one runner wearing a bandana that had on her sign she was running for herself.
I was just 1 of 16,000 runners, I can't wait to do it again next year.
Together we will be cancer.
Saturday, 5 June 2010
Next day out I go myself
So today was lovely so I decided to take myself, Chris & the 2 girls out for the day, originally I had planned to go to Saltcoats to the beach as Violet has never been & Brogan not been for ages but as we didn't leave till later in the day we went to Balloch instead which is on the banks of Loch Lommond & is really lovely. We had a nice drive down & a lovely picnic, then Brogan started to complain she couldn't go in the water & Chris started to bitch about almost everything, including Brogan's bitching!!! so I spent most of the rest of the afternoon having to listen to them. The next time I paln on a day out I think I will go myslef with Violet, at least then I might enjoy myself more. You try to do something nice for them only to get it thrown in your face with thier ungratefulness.
I also got everything finalised for Violet's christening with the priest today, so it is at 12 o'clock on the 4th July, now I can finally pay for all the food, disco & hall as it confirmed, thankfully!
Need to get an early night tonigh as I have Cancer Reseach's Race for Life tomorrow morning, nice and early in Glasgow Green, it is at 9.30am but we have to be there for 8.30am, YAWN!
I also got everything finalised for Violet's christening with the priest today, so it is at 12 o'clock on the 4th July, now I can finally pay for all the food, disco & hall as it confirmed, thankfully!
Need to get an early night tonigh as I have Cancer Reseach's Race for Life tomorrow morning, nice and early in Glasgow Green, it is at 9.30am but we have to be there for 8.30am, YAWN!
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Quiet Bank holiday weekend
Apparently I hadnt updated in a while, maybe I have nothing to do that keeps me busy lol!
Was so glad that I had a quiet bank holiday weekend after all the rushing around that I had from lastweekend, Brogan had her dance display last weekend so on Friday we had the rehearsal, Saturday & Sunday was the show. She done amazing in it as did the rest of the girls from the dancing, Im was a little pissed I never got to see the whole thing as I was stuck doing the 4 costume & 4 hair changes as well as fixing her make-up & reapplying her glitter spray! Little DIVA during the changes.
This weekend I done a big fat NOTHING and I loved it, needed the break, just so glad that the schools are back in tomorrow! Having Brogan home all day can be a right pain! She is in-out-in-out all day long asking for money for the shop, if its okay to go hear there & everywhere! not looking forward to the 26th June when they finish up for 7 weeks!
Another thing, we have finally started to wean Violet & she is taking to it like a little hungry bear! We are only just over a week in & she already on 3 meals with puddings as well at dinner & lunch!!!! We are doing BLW (baby-led weaning) with loads spoons & finger foods. So far there is only a few things she will not eat, well 2 really! cucumber & mushroom & I cant blame her for not eating mushrooms YUCK! On Sunday she had a roast beef dinner & devoured it! Beef, roast potatoes, roast carrot & yorkshire pudding with some gravy (made from the juices no bisto or oxo, just proper gravy) then ate her yoghurt as well! there was enough to feed her twice over ont he plate as well!
Must say as well feeling much better at the moment, hormones in check just now, they really messing with me when I get PMT its really bad & I fell really down but just now im my happy chirpy self, Chris couldn't be gladder x
Was so glad that I had a quiet bank holiday weekend after all the rushing around that I had from lastweekend, Brogan had her dance display last weekend so on Friday we had the rehearsal, Saturday & Sunday was the show. She done amazing in it as did the rest of the girls from the dancing, Im was a little pissed I never got to see the whole thing as I was stuck doing the 4 costume & 4 hair changes as well as fixing her make-up & reapplying her glitter spray! Little DIVA during the changes.
This weekend I done a big fat NOTHING and I loved it, needed the break, just so glad that the schools are back in tomorrow! Having Brogan home all day can be a right pain! She is in-out-in-out all day long asking for money for the shop, if its okay to go hear there & everywhere! not looking forward to the 26th June when they finish up for 7 weeks!
Another thing, we have finally started to wean Violet & she is taking to it like a little hungry bear! We are only just over a week in & she already on 3 meals with puddings as well at dinner & lunch!!!! We are doing BLW (baby-led weaning) with loads spoons & finger foods. So far there is only a few things she will not eat, well 2 really! cucumber & mushroom & I cant blame her for not eating mushrooms YUCK! On Sunday she had a roast beef dinner & devoured it! Beef, roast potatoes, roast carrot & yorkshire pudding with some gravy (made from the juices no bisto or oxo, just proper gravy) then ate her yoghurt as well! there was enough to feed her twice over ont he plate as well!
Must say as well feeling much better at the moment, hormones in check just now, they really messing with me when I get PMT its really bad & I fell really down but just now im my happy chirpy self, Chris couldn't be gladder x
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